24 Coming Out Tips
1. Never come out in an
argument or to hurt someone
2. Never come out in a moving
3. A person is more intelligent
than a group of people, come out to people one at a time
and somewhere private.
4. People who are ignorant may
say things initially that they don't realize are painful
to hear. Remember that they are simply unaware and in a
state of surprise.
5. They may already know.
6. Coming out in drag is a bit
much (unless you really have the right shoes...)
7. People have to deal with 1)
the issue of homo/bi/trans stuff and 2) you as a person
3) the combination of the two since you probably don't
fit the stereotype they have about gay peeps.
8. Be sober
9. Don't have your lover with
you. This is not "Let's Make a Deal" more surprises are
10. Be ready for them to need
time and space to think about things before any
discussion takes place.
11. Be ready for them to drill
you with questions that may or may not offend you (see
12. Sometimes it's easier to
read about an issue than to admit you are uneducated.
Have a book, pamphlet, phone number, or other resource
that can be called when you aren't around.
13. It is your life to live,
you only have one, and the bottom line is that you are
going to continue living as a gay person no matter what
their reaction is.
14. It may not be a bad idea to
have smelling salts handy.
15. There are people who will
never be supportive no matter what is said.
16. If your audience had that
deer in the headlights look, don't make any quick moves.
17. Breathe. (seriously)
18. No two coming out
experiences are ever the same.
19. Don't plan on doing
anything else for the rest of the day/night.
20. People will need a lot of
time, for the most part, to really think about things.
21. Always have an escape plan.
You may not need it, but if you do, you won't be
surprised. Have a place to crash for the night, and money
you can get to in case a worse case scenario does occur.
22. Have resources for you to
call, you need support, too!
23. Just because you come out
to someone once, doesn't mean you won't have to do it
again, and again, and again...
24. Do not try to answer questions about Richard
Simmons, Rosie O'Donnel Keanu Reeves, Tom Cruise, Richard Gere (or the
Gerbils), Oscar Wilde, the Spice Girls, Bert and Ernie, or anyone else.
YGS Board of Directors
Just to make it official, yes you may use my 24
coming out tip list. Please have a mailto link with my YGS address.
Make sure to say that you are using this list with MY permission (not
XY's) however, you should probably mention that it was published in
two of their issues.
Others may copy the tips to their sites, with the
same requests (notification, email link, permissions, etc)